| CHAPTER OVERVIEW
First Steps - Setting the Scene for Getting Closer
Learn about setting realistic expectations for getting closer to your mate, and some simple rules that can help you in getting started.
Have a Reason - Be Intimate on Purpose
Why intimacy can diminish over time, and how to keep it alive; what we mean when we use the word “intimacy” in the first place; the power of “swagger” and choice.
Beware Assumptions!—Knowing Your Definitions and Role Models
What hidden assumptions are you making about relationships and gender roles—and how are they affecting your relationship?
Monogamy, Monogamish, and Nonmonogamy
“Monogamy” refers to more than just sex; learn how partners can feel betrayed by non-sexual things; learn how to set boundaries about what’s okay and what’s not okay between you and your partner.
What’s Better Than Sex?—The Power of Curiosity
The essential power of curiosity in relationships; how to listen actively with your partner (and show it!); the “four buckets” of emotions—and how easy it is to confuse one emotion for another.
Me First, Then You!—Why Self-Care Matters
In order to care for others, you have to put yourself first; creating “sacred space” with your partner; why it’s important to draw boundaries around your relationship.
Identifying Connection: See it! Do it! Learn it! Get the Rewards!
More about how assumptions can harm a relationship; what it is you want to achieve in the relationship; how to come home from work each day.
Who Are You, Anyway? - Alignment
Why it’s so important to have a sense of who you are (internal alignment) and to live authentically (external alignment); watching out for “timelines” that others may seek to impose on your relationship without your consent.
Maintaining the Plateau - Lasting for the Long Haul
Living in “plateau” moments in your relationship; it’s normal for couples to be working on different aspects of their relationship at varying paces all at once.