Chapter 1

First Steps - Setting the Scene for Getting Closer

Learn about setting realistic expectations for getting closer to your mate, and some simple rules that can help you in getting started.

Chapter 2

Have a Reason - Be Intimate on Purpose

Why intimacy can diminish over time, and how to keep it alive; what we mean when we use the word “intimacy” in the first place; the power of “swagger” and choice.

Chapter 3

Beware Assumptions!—Knowing Your Definitions and Role Models

What hidden assumptions are you making about relationships and gender roles—and how are they affecting your relationship?


Chapter 4

Monogamy, Monogamish, and Nonmonogamy

“Monogamy” refers to more than just sex; learn how partners can feel betrayed by non-sexual things; learn how to set boundaries about what’s okay and what’s not okay between you and your partner.

Chapter 5

What’s Better Than Sex?—The Power of Curiosity

The essential power of curiosity in relationships; how to listen actively with your partner (and show it!); the “four buckets” of emotions—and how easy it is to confuse one emotion for another.

Chapter 6

Me First, Then You!—Why Self-Care Matters

In order to care for others, you have to put yourself first; creating “sacred space” with your partner; why it’s important to draw boundaries around your relationship.


Chapter 7

Identifying Connection: See it! Do it! Learn it! Get the Rewards!

More about how assumptions can harm a relationship; what it is you want to achieve in the relationship; how to come home from work each day.

Chapter 8

Who Are You, Anyway? - Alignment

Why it’s so important to have a sense of who you are (internal alignment) and to live authentically (external alignment); watching out for “timelines” that others may seek to impose on your relationship without your consent.

Chapter 9

Maintaining the Plateau - Lasting for the Long Haul

Living in “plateau” moments in your relationship; it’s normal for couples to be working on different aspects of their relationship at varying paces all at once.