Reaching your goals is challenging. Create a structure that keeps you on target by using language you relate to everyday. Create a focus that you can apply in every setting!
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Being enough in a relationship can be confusing and leave us feeling misunderstood. But what really is enough in relationship? Who do you need to be enough for? Learn what being enough really means!
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You can’t be in a relationship without one good manipulation a day! Learn the healthy aspects of manipulation that result in better connection!
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For those that have been reading my blog posts for a while, you will recall that I start every year off, not with a set of resolutions, but with a word of the year. I do not make resolutions because as soon as you miss the mark once, you have failed. I will go to the gym 3 times each week becomes the source of self-shaming, frustration, and guilt as soon as you do not make the mark (and I venture, that moment usually comes before the end of February.) Instead, I choose a word that becomes a perspective to set context for the different journeys I will take for the year…
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Every year, I try to find my “word of the year”. It is a ritual that helps me to maintain focus, build resiliency, and find my path forward. In years past, my words have included: intention, curiosity, boundaries, and balance. Each of these words have become so incorporated into my being, my practice, and my perspective that every decision I make is rooted in these concepts.
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I play many roles in my life. Partner, father, therapist, teacher, business owner to name a few. These roles keep me very busy and I often feel the crushing weight of responsibility on me. Normally I manage it well and focus on meaningful self-care and attachment to positive people (just as I tell my patients to do!). I am intentional and mindful of what I need to do to ensure that I am meeting the many requirements that are put on me.
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The other day I was asked what would allow someone to achieve their goals when they seem to be so far away. My immediate gut-level reaction was “bravery”. It was not the answer the other person was expecting. I began exploring how others experienced bravery and their ability to recognize it in themselves.
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The crush of September is upon us. Kids are going back to school. The perceived freedoms of summer are gone. We start to become more focused on work and responsibility. I hear about this every day. As I sit with people, I hear more stories of being overwhelmed and under rested.
Read MoreThere are times when I forget. I forget that I can do something. I forget that I have the power to influence and create change. I forget that I have coping skills. And, when I forget any of these things, I also forget how to find meaning and perspective. I lose myself in the chaos and noise and see my skills begin to erode away.
Read MoreWhen I work with couples, one of the earliest things we do is look at how we communicate. We begin with the basics of starting to look at our words and tone so that we can hear and understand each other. As we get deeper into our process we begin to look at something far more challenging, and potentially more destructive than our words. We begin to look at our assumptions.
Read MoreI have had patient after patient come into my office talking about what a harsh and relentless winter this has been. I can’t agree more! It is always interesting to see how people talk about the weather. There are two classic perspectives that get presented: How cold it is on the thermometer and how much energy is being used by the thermostat. What an interesting way to understand ourselves as well!
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